A Week in the Life of $18.00

Wow!  What a week it has been.  I completed the challenge and it was just that, a challenge.  Originally I had wanted to blog my experiences and feelings daily, however, finding the motivation to do so was an extra challenge on top of being absolutely fixated on my next meal.  I made notes and jotted things down, which I will summarize in this posting. 

DAY 1:

Pasta and sauce with carrots, onions, chickpeas and kale

Breakfast: Oatmeal, plain

Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich

Snack: Banana

Dinner: Pasta with tomato sauce (additions: onions, garlic, carrots and kale)

Mood: My mood was great.  I was still feeling good about the challenge and my anxiety about my food choices subsided.  I felt okay with what I had available, and I had a good foundation for meals.  The oatmeal was filling, although bland, but still kept me going until my sandwich.  The peanut butter was sugary sweet, not the natural stuff I usually have and the bread, although whole wheat was still pretty fluffy; white bread in whole wheat’s clothing.  My hunger set in while I was prepping dinner, but nothing that a spoonful of peanut butter and a big glass of water couldn’t control.  Speaking of water, I drank more today than I would on a regular day.  This was a good thing.

 

I was actually quite pleased with my dinner concoction, which even included some chickpeas for added protein.  I made enough for 4 meals, including dinner that night and packed up the rest in separate containers.  Unfortunately, the sauce had double the sugar and salt than what I would usually have on hand or what I would make myself but it was edible.  

   

I was feeling good and in control of the situation. 

DAY 2:

Breakfast: Oatmeal plain

Lunch: Left over dinner

Snack: Peanut butter sandwich

Dinner: Left over dinner

Mood: Surprisingly still in a good mood.  I found a pack of brown sugar from Starbucks which I happily added to my oatmeal, but rationed as it needed to last me all week.  Lunch was relatively good.  My co-workers thought it looked amazing.  I’m not sure if they were humouring me or really meant it.  My peanut butter sandwich was pretty good.  By dinner time, I was not in love with the syrupy tomato sauce and pasta from the day before and I was ready for a change.  I glanced over my groceries but it was too mentally challenging to come up with a creative meal.  Then I remembered that I had an acorn squash from the garden.  Yahoo.  It was glorious!  ½ for tonight and ½ for tomorrow.  Yay gardens.    

DAY 3:

Breakfast: Surprise, oatmeal!

Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich

Snack: Peanut butter sandwich

Dinner: Day 1 left overs…again…plus acorn squash J

Snack: Banana

Carrot-potato soup, pre-puree

Mood: My co-workers commented that my mood was great despite the food.  They were expecting a grump I think.  I was prepared for Day 3 being really hard, but it was okay, although, my thoughts were fixated on food.  I would agree that overall I was still upbeat and positive, but at times throughout the day, I would find myself daydreaming about what to make for dinner.  I was almost in a trance.  I found that I was hungrier on Day 3 than the previous days.  It may have been food boredom.   There was definitely not a lot of variety.  I hated the pasta and sauce but was so thankful for the squash.  After dinner I made a soup of potatoes from the garden, carrots, onions and loads of garlic.  Obviously I didn’t have any veggie broth so water it was.  It looked and smelled really good.  But boiled potato/carrot water wasn’t really appealing to me, so I decided to blend it up.  The outcome was a baby food type puree. Hmmm.  

DAY 4:

Pasta and sauce, sans extras

Breakfast: Peanut butter sandwich (I changed it up today)

Lunch: Soup

Snack: Banana

Dinner: Pasta and syrupy sauce- I don’t bother adding additional veggies.  I dump the chickpeas in just because they are there and easy. 

Mood: Day 4 was hard.  Thankfully my workday was busy so I didn’t have time to think about it much, but after work I was tired and hungry.  I am not sure if I was actually hungry for food or just variety.  I realized the bananas were all gone but I still had $2.65 to spare so in an emergency I could still afford them if need be.  My co-worker reminded me of her dinner party the next day.  She had invited me to it weeks before.  I could hardly wait!  My peanut butter supply was quickly dwindling.  I had been sneaking spoonfuls in between meals to satisfy my hunger and prevent any hangry outbursts.  I’m not sure who I was sneaking it from, but I felt sneaky while doing it.  Strange. 

DAY 5:

Breakfast: Peanut butter sandwich (all I can think about is the dinner party tonight)

Lunch: Oatmeal (all I can think about is the dinner party tonight)

Snack: N/A (Dinner party…tonight!)

Dinner: Did I mention the DINNER PARTY?  Lasagna, caesar salad, garlic toast and wine! 

Mood: Obsessed about the dinner party.  My friend serves me a giant piece of lasagna and tells me whatever I don’t eat, I can take home.  She concludes with of course you can eat it all…no judgement!  Yep, I ate it all.  It was delicious.  Thanks Ashley. 

DAY 6:

Breakfast: Peanut butter sandwich (now peanut butter and bread are finished)

Lunch: I hold off as I’m taking my son to a birthday party. 

Dinner: TBA

Mood: I wake up fully aware of what my food options are.  I’m bitter.  The memory of the meal before is too fresh in my mind. I eat my sandwich and try to distract myself until the birthday party.   The weekend is much harder.  I’m home with my family and I don’t have the distraction of work to keep my mind off food.  Of course my family is eating well.  I just watch, stare maybe.  

At the party there is pizza, veggies and fruit.  I’m ready to start chewing through the cardboard box but I keep myself under control.  I watch all the kids eating their pizza and then I see some of the parents have some too.  What?  How did I miss that?  What was I doing?  I wander over to the table and casually place some broccoli and cauliflower on my plate.  Where is the pizza???  I spot it but realize it’s Hawaiian and I don’t eat meat.  What a pain in my ass I am.  I’m aware at how ridiculous and small my “problems” are and remind myself that my little experiment is just temporary and I can change that whenever I want, while others are truly struggling.  Regardless, my feeling of inequality is real.  I see a closed box of pizza but I’m too shy to open it and see if it’s the vegetarian pizza.  What will people think?  I don’t know anyone here very well and I don’t want to stand out.  It’s not clear to me at the time that nobody would even notice or care, but I’m insecure and I return to my seat with my broccoli.  I am feeling sorry for myself and ask my son if he’s going to eat his crust.  I’m ashamed of myself but don’t really know why.  The party is over. 

That night, I pour myself a glass of wine and order Chinese.  I’m done the challenge.